Careless: A SkrillMau5 songfic
by Kiwi Pirate
Summary: A songfic for Sonny and Joel! You say you don't care, but it makes no sense to me and I wish you would just see that I was hopeless, just move on and give up on me! Rated T for fluffy boy love!


**Title: Careless**  
><strong>Pairing: Skrillex x deadmau5 (SonnyxJoel)<strong>  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Warnings: Mild language, boys kissing, angst, fluffy love<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own sonny or joel they wouldn't let me own them even if i tried to...<br>the format of the POV might be a bit confusing hopefully it's not but if so then i apologize! **

**Sonny's POV**

I can't count the number of times you watched me fall apart. The number of times you picked up the phone and listen to me crying my eyes sore at 3 in the morning. All the comforting words and gestures to make me happy and feel better about myself even though half the time I would deny it. How many times I've shown up at your door a complete disaster, and still you take me in and let me crash on your couch, sitting by my side quietly until I cried myself to a dreamless sleep.

You say you don't care.

I used to find that hard to believe sometimes…

I used to yell at you asking why, how can you keep doing these things for me when all I do is cause trouble. You say you don't care but it makes no sense to me and I wish you would just see that I was hopeless to move on and give up!

I still remember the tired look in your eyes, the stubble on your chin from spending a whole 48 hours in my room listening to me rant and sob…but somehow…you still manage to smile in that you silly idiot way and sigh. Then you would wrap me up in a hug and tell me I was silly and gullible and such a wreck but that didn't mean I was a burden.

I would fall asleep with a smile and wake up under your covers still wearing my jeans from yesterday. You would make breakfast and watch TV with me and everything would be normal again. I would be my happy go lucky self again joking and laughing like a mental and emotional break down never even took place.

I would be okay for a few weeks…maybe a few months even…

I would release full albums like crazy feel amazing and call you every so often and possibly see you out and. I would act all strong and positive again and you would smile even brighter and the sight always brought tears to my eyes and I would turn away to hide them.

And then the tour dates were announced for me and the dates were announced for you. My world was split because we were not touring together I was strong at times but still unstable.

We stood together in the airport outside the gate letting passengers aboard.

I was already a wobbly mess of un-spilled tears and shaky breaths.

"You knew this day would come right…? I can't always be by your side when you crash...but you are strong Sonny I know it and you do too!"

You have your hands in your pockets a sign that meant you were tense.

I felt my heart twist up and the tears overflowed. I hide my face but you hold my chin up. Your eyes were soft and sad as I stared into them. "You're a walking disaster…you're weak and gullible…you waste my time but…I DON'T CARE…I don't fucking care!"

I felt my body jolt with a silent hiccup and I bite my lower lip hard to stifle a sob.

Then I felt your hands cup my jaw and before I realized it I felt your lips press tenderly against mine. The emotions poured into me through the kiss making me tingle all over. I wrapped my arms around your neck as you embraced me tight around my waist pulling me closer. The sensation was beyond anything I ever felt in my life…I didn't want it to end. Yet even after we pulled apart, after we shared a loving smile, long after I watched you walk through the gate and the plane pull away from the gate…all I could do was smile in silence. Because for the first time, I understood why— Why you always said you don't care… Why you stayed by my side as I crumbled, and always piece me back together again… Why you gave up hours of precious sleep to tell me over and over I was not a burden or a failure. Why you always made time for me… why you always helped me…why you always said you don't care….

It was because you _did _care. You cared _a lot_.

**Hope you liked it! It's just a little songfic based on the song Careless by deadmau5. if you don't know the song look it up! it's a bit depressing and i might've gotten part of the message wrong but i think it fit well! tell me what you think and be nice about it! ^~^ ~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**


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